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My dearest Viscount Andinos,
Greetings from sunny Federation space, and Week Two of this delightful mission. Since my last message Vex and I have made even more friends here among Hudson’s Republican party. In fact only this morning I received a basket of cold meats and cheeses, with an invitation to join Hudson himself for a weekend of golf.
I jest. We have of course been spending most of our time since we last spoke shooting at Federal agents with lasers. I trust that the data packages dispatched thus far are proving valuable – it would be such a shame for me to end up floating in space in several pieces just to help Arissa get her hands on Zachary Hudson’s shopping list.
Dexter Vex has been enjoying greatly the large sums of money you’ve promised him for what is effectively his third-favourite pastime, after flower arrangement and volunteering at his local puppy rescue centre. In fact, if he wasn’t here I’d doubtless be either dead or enjoying the hospitality of the Federal Enforcers. Our kill-tally at present stands at no less than twelve unsuspecting Federal couriers, which has netted my head a tidy bounty of 48,000 credits. I’ve never felt so valuable.
Forgive my brevity, but my restless desire to fruitlessly give my life for Queen and Empire compels me to get back to the task in hand.
Give my love to our favourite cephalopod.
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